


Foolish Child; Blasphemous God

by Killer_Kiwi_XD



Category: Avengers, Marvel, Mythology, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor - Fandom, Thor 2 - Fandom
Genre: AU, Emotional, Fun, Gods, Loki in Hiding, Loki-centric, Mild character change, Modern Day, Multi, Real life mixed with fiction, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 23:06:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4281423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killer_Kiwi_XD/pseuds/Killer_Kiwi_XD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was a shining emblem of something I wanted, something I needed, something that would come and go out of existence with a bitterly sad smile. He was beautiful and I was foolish. He was a god, and I was nothing but a child.</p><p>AU where Loki came from asgard and met the reader/Sigyen during modern days. The love story is not happy and Loki had himself largely in hiding.</p><p>Largely not connected to the avengers story line but can be seen as taking place during avengers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foolish Child; Blasphemous God

**Author's Note:**

> This story is close to my heart. It took me a long time to write it and while it has been molded heavily by the character involved it is also a story that is based around real life events. Give it a read, become the character, and enjoy the reality of loving a god.
> 
> May become part of a series.

Blistering heat is most common during a California summer. Looking out over the sidewalk, even with only the street lamps as light, any passerby can see the waves of heat rolling up from the ground like the shimmer of the Sahara. Most of these nights are negligible at best. Purely due to the fact that they are an occurrence that shoves it's self into existence so commonly it's almost laughable. Some people take advantage of the blistering heat and the desert like mirage in the air, to show up like some sort of ethereal being. Returning from long absences to stand under street lamps with the expectation of congratulations and words carrying the weight of the summer heat. The summer I turned nineteen was much the same.  
The ground shimmered in the black of night, lit by street lamps and a waning moon that mirrored a shard of broken glass in its awkward last moments before the new one was born, certainly everything seemed almost like a movie. A long stick of sickly tobacco and tar rest between shaking fingers, tapping ash onto the ground after every toxic inhale. The time of night was inconsequential as I stood in front of the currently empty house, though not alone, I had grown up in from the tender age of eight. Though I was now chained to it due to a withering body as well as mind. I grandly remember in the moment between one inhale and the next exhale that I thought the night would be one to remember.  
There was no context for my thoughts. Just a musing between puffs of death and the nearly silent whispering tittering of my older sister beside me. I didn't listen to what she had to say, my mind focused on other things that had happened during that summer, though her sudden silence had pulled me from my thoughts to look at her. She had spoke with reason before but now there was nothing but silence and curiosity focused off down that heated side walk.  
I held apprehension to look where she had, not knowing what she was seeing or if perhaps this was some elaborate ruse in which to ensnare my curiosity so I would listen to her. My hand mid raise lowered the cigarette to my side, smoke curling from my mouth like the breath of a dragon, before I glanced to where she was staring. The significance of what she was staring at meant nothing to me at first. It was simply a figure walking down the sidewalk late at night in a residential area. Perhaps it was my imagination telling me the bad omen this figure brought with it as it approached on a beeline for the two of us.  
It was only when a street lamp cast accompanying shadows across the contours of this strangers face that I was finally seeing what she had. Perhaps it was a joke played by god himself. To send his most unruly child back to the one place that he should not have returned to but then again, there he was. A pompous, jilted, man who caused more trouble than he was worth walking toward two bewildered beings as if he had not vanished 3 years ago. As if wounded feelings and hearts would open up like open arms to him again, with his smug smile and eyes that seemed more like gems with how much light and how little life they showed.  
Carefully I had watched him approach like a snake from the grass, my sister standing as feelings boiled heavy in my chest and up into my throat, I couldn’t tell whether it was the smoke from the cigarette or the threat of tears that had burned my eyes more. Joy or anger at the time, I did not know, but it curled inside me like a wolf snarling at its captor. Had I been an animal in that moment and he the snake I perceived him as then perhaps he would have backed away at the bitter snarling. Or maybe he would have turned around and carried on back down the road he had come from. No warning was given though and instead he approached me and my now standing sister with no words. Instead there was that same infuriating and tantalizing grin that had me hiding a sneer behind my cigarette. That grin that reminded me of our younger years, two high school students lost in the haze of budding 'affection'.  
He didn't tell us exactly where he had been since he had left, three years my senior and only months away from graduation. Even as days ticked by and by, as if the world had its own little minute hand that had decided to speed off into oblivion. He stayed with us, lurking in the house like a ghost, with unspoken arguments between he and I that resolved without a sound. We would sit in the kitchen drinking wine I was too young to have, laughing at everything, I would sit beside him brushing black hair from his face again and again with the ease of someone who had never been wounded. We would talk as if we assumed that he would stay around, as if this was not a form of reawakening for him akin to when Jesus returned from beyond his tomb, but looking back there was always a ticking clock mocking me above his head. A countdown echoed by the wanderlust he and I had never once shared.  
I would mock him in moments like this, where the bitter reality of life threatened to tear apart my this fiction I had created. 'Loki' I would call him, in anger and regret, before memorizing the nickname again and again just so I could match it with the smile this stupid game brought to his face.  
"You cause as much trouble as him." I would mock in breathless tones while holding back the awe. He would smile, lamenting how I remembered his love for mythology and that horribly wonderful god of mischief that he took after.  
"If you see me as a god then that is the only one I can be. I lie too much to be any other." 'Well spoken' was what I always thought when he would speak to me. 'Creative' when fashioning his most hideous lies that could turn the most trusting into disbelievers.  
It was a week into his seemingly eternal stay that we had decided to run like children to the wooded area closest to my house. Across a road with my sister and a close friend in tow, though they seemed more like white noise as he laughed just behind my back trying to catch me. We darted, nearly tripping, across the black asphalt before faux tumbling ourselves down the hill that led us to the 'ditch', as we had so affectionately named this sunken oasis of trees and shrubbery. As bubbly and infantile as I had ever been, a mood I so rarely found myself, we barreled along acting nothing of our age.  
The flat plains of this strange wonderland was where we stopped for a moment. All four of us marveled at the towering trees, trying to imagine there were no houses on the hill we had just run down, we all wanted that oasis to be a forgotten place where we could pretend to be children again. Each one of us having been robbed of that childhood delight far too soon, though none more so than this perpetually grinning trickster god that stood so close to my side. We were all breathless and laughing, none more so than him and I, before the name of the game was on our lips and we were all agreeing with silent nods as if we could read each others minds. We took off running to leave the hunter in his place, this time he would have to wonder where we had gone and not the other way around, we had a near acre to run free on and we used it.  
I crept through bushes, never stayed still; I didn't play fair as I heard the counting end. I had never intended to play nice and every step closer, every exclamation from the others found, I stole myself away into another spot. Before hiding so carefully under a low laying bush near what used to be a stream. My phone buzzed in my denim jeans as if to beckon me out from where I was crouched. The slim mix of plastic and glass soon resting in my sweating palm as I read seemingly innocuous words.  
'Where are you?', plain text under a name I still dare not utter. Had I not been enjoying myself I would have seen it as a mockery to the many nights my wayward heart had texted a disconnected number the same thing. So instead of an answer I typed out, nearly bitter, a riddle. Answers were given in reply, confusion staining text, all to no avail and then another riddle was sent as I stayed resolute in the under growth assuming I would have to jump out in order for them all to find me.  
I was a great hider in this moment, a sniper with a gun, I could see them but I was not seen and the pleasure of turning the tables had my heart racing. I didn't want to stay hiding though, not forever among the dirt, had I then I would have moved once more when I heard the crunching of leaves so near me that all I could do was hold my breath. I had deemed myself the winner, so had the others, but this was a game so long in the making I would not emerge until I was found. Then, when that moment came, I would only hope it would be my sinful god staring down at me with mirth in his eyes.  
I sat forever, a smile on my lips at the teasing riddles, before a hand had me startling from my spot. The prey had been caught, while happily distracted, and the hunter only laughed before in the next moment running off. I charged out of hiding after him, laughing at the leaves caught in his ebony hair, before we were clumsily running onto the flat land and gathering again with people we had nearly forgotten. There was no guilt at forgetting, everyone had their moment, but I wanted to swallow up all of his time in any way that I could. Not another soul could steal it away from me.  
We didn't draw straws, the loser was not the seeker, instead we offered ourselves up as tributes for the battle ahead. With breathless wheezes from ruined lungs I chuckled out my own urge to search and then covered my eyes. The pray ran, loud and stomping, doubling back and forth like tacticians and the intelligent beings we were. I found myself the hunter and counted down far too fast before spinning around and listening. I searched and searched, found my sister first crouched among leaves and flowers, she merely smiled at me before uncommonly going to sit on the flat plain as if she knew something I did not. She did, I was a fool not to see it, but I let her go before searching out the other's of our group. Finally after a long few moments the second of our party was discovered huffing and half way up a tree that they had been trying to climb.  
I had laughed heavy from my stomach before he had stormed to go sit with my waiting sister. Finally I was on my course to find the snake hiding in the grass. Once more there was a buzz in my pocket, as if he had known he was the only target left, and then the riddles started. There was mention of trees, of flowers, of the road and noise as I searched on for a surprisingly difficult face to find. It took time, a long time, till finally it was a game of hot and cold. I found myself standing in long grass, blue flowers I didn't know the name of peeking up and drooping down through the grass, I knew that I was close.  
'You're close.', was the only acknowledgement of my achievement allowed from him. A simple affirmation of what I already knew. Slowly I started turning around, and then around again, looking for black amongst the green. Had the scene been a movie I would have spun around three times before he emerged from the shrubbery walking nearly on air. This wasn't a movie, or a dream, and I spun in place like a fool for several moments. Finally I spun for my last time, before gazing up past bushes and branches to see a figure sitting in the rain drain just watching me with eyes colored onyx and laughing silently.  
I couldn't laugh for some reason, a reason I would later realize was dread, though a smile did spread across my face as I scrambled up the small hill tripping a few times in an uncoordinated fashion. I stopped, once I reached him, with dirt on my hands. Staring at him in a victory he had heavily lead, as if I had found him on sheer will. He had let me find him, he had lead me to standing there in front of him, as if to say 'This is how we are.' These were things I could not possibly comprehend at the time and so I had just smiled in the falsehood of victory like a young child. It wasn't meant to be anything more than that, to be a game, but somehow it came down to defining out lives. I, quite suddenly, found myself reaching out with soil dirtied hands. They wrapped loose around the back of his neck and pulled him close like I had seen in movies. It was a moment, though, so unlike the movies.  
There were no fireworks in the kiss, no sudden feeling of rightness, just a touch of two people that felt more like it belonged in some awkward teens diary rather than in the moment we were in. If there was ever an anticlimactic moment you would assume this kiss was it, perhaps awkward and uncomfortable, but even without the fireworks it was not. The moment of 'Ah Ha' that seemed to come for so many movie stars didn't hit me… until I had pulled away. When we had stood there under the trees and near the road, with my dirty hands on the back of his neck, and he had smiled at me as if the earth was crumbling down. As if I was the only thing holding him above a chasm that would send his fragile body into a certain doom.  
It was a smile etched in a bone searing sadness that still did not manage to outweigh the joy most had never had the pleasure to see in his gem like eyes. I stared at him, this blasphemous god that had brought me light, and held my breath against the agony those searing emotions, nearly hotter than the summer, brought up. My thumbs brushed against his cheeks to wipe away tears that were not there, smearing dirt across his cheek, before his smile settled to his concealing grin. My heart was laid to waste with what I knew we were both feeling and what I knew he could never express.  
Before that smile I had never believed in love but in that moment, as I choked back the pain in my heart, I had wished for it more than anything. When he left soon after, not wanting to release my hand, I had wished that summer had never existed. Because gods are a myth, love is a chemical reaction, and I was a foolish child.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and like the story. I would love to see what everyone thinks. I hope you enjoyed!


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